This mother’s curriculum vitae (you know, for credibility)

image


Education

2003 PhD, University of Michigan, Biology Dept. (I know, right?! I wouldn’t even mention this, but for how additionally ridiculous it makes my life seem at times.)

1995 BA, University of California, Berkeley, Integrative Biology Dept.

1989 Princeton High School


Employment

2004 – 2010 Scientific advising, program development, and grant-writing for non-profits  in Indonesia

2010-2012 Same thing but from back here in the US

2012 Ceased all efforts to have a job following my braindeath after the third child


Kids

2006 Tomas, adopted in Indonesia (currently 9)

2010 Phoebe, homegrown and born in Singapore (currently 5)

2012 Tristan, homegrown and born in California (currently 2.75)


Stats

Diapers changed: 357,987

Disasters narrowly averted: 4,679

Children successfully potty-trained: 2

Children successfully trained to sleep in a crib: 0

Children currently able to sleep on their own: 1

Brain cells lost to sleep deprivation: most


Well, I think that’s all the necessary background. Onto the stories of the trials and tribulations of motherhood! I hope you’ll enjoy these as much as I love to write them.

2 thoughts on “This mother’s curriculum vitae (you know, for credibility)

  1. Fantastic! The layout is easy to follow. The two stories are fun and well written. However, I am a little disappointed that after three children, a PhD, four thousand and however many crisis’ averted and more than a quarter million diapers changed, that you have but only two stories. Heck. I have at least two stories from this morning. One parent asked if I would give his child oxycodone for teething pain. A twelve year old girl was tifting, that’s what we call it east of the Mississippi, with her mother and she said to her mother, “whatever mom. I hope you step on a leggo in you bare feet.” If those ain’t fighting words, I am not sure what are.
    Good going and I can’t wait for more stories.

    Like

  2. Woah there, Cowboy! There are more ponies in this barn. There are more pistols in my holsters. There are more…uh, you get the picture. Here’s the deal: you come babysit, and I’ll crank out another one. No, really, more coming soon!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s